Trust me; I know hatred of the fall is an unpopular opinion. Foliage and blankets and pumpkins and piesâ€¦ What's not to love?! And I get it. I do. Everyone I know gets amped about the cozy sweatshirts and warm apple cider, and I wish I could, too. Whenever I gripe about America's favorite season, I brace myself for the disapproving, sweater-clad reception. Rarely will anyone commiserate with me over my dislike of autumn; so I'm here to explain myself.
Disagree? Why Fall Is the Only Worthwhile Season
There are many - like, so many - reasons I hate the fall. The first reason might not be a Starbucks spiced latte, but it's still pretty basic.
1. The clothes. Winter is coming. The dark omen stomps through my brain as fall ticks by. It's a countdown to misery, an encroaching onset of a climate I can never seem to dress appropriately for. Once winter begins, I'll spend 60 percent of my days suffering through somehow-wet, freezing feet and the other 40 percent irritated by sweating through my heavy coat indoors. The end of fall is the deadline for comfort. It's also the deadline for most of my wardrobe.
I grew up in Florida, meaning that for the first 18 years of my life - my chance to build a closet and learn to dress - I wore nothing but shorts, tank tops, and sundresses. What's the difference between a boot and a bootie? I couldn't have told you. I owned one pair of pants (for job interviews) and exactly zero coats.
I've learned a bit since moving to the Northeast years ago, but shopping for cold-weather clothes is still a burden. So I dread the time when my favorite clothing stores start filling their racks with thin coats and thick jeans. I can think of zero clothing items that are less fun to try on, let alone buy.
But the world is a cold, cruel place: I still have to buy them. Fall is expensive. The items I purchased last year have likely been ruined by salt and snow, so I'm forced every year to spend again. If I don't, I'll freeze. Truly a threatening situation.
2. My social life.Some of my favorite weekend activities include walking around the city, reading under the sun, and eating/drinking outdoors. What do all of those activities have in common? They require warmth. Womp, womp.
Gone are the glory days of basking under the sun. The possibility of another beach day evaporates faster than condensation on a chilled bottle of rosÃ©. And my friends, who used to be up for all kinds of weekend escapades, start subtly battening down the hatches for what will soon become a solid four months of winter hibernation. It's a real bummer.
3. I like the sun.So does my skin. And my organs. And my brain. Ever heard of vitamin D?! Come on, autumn. Do a gal a favor and keep the daylight shining just a few more hours. At 6 a.m., I'd like to walk eagerly to the gym in the sun and a tank top, not trudge there through darkness in a coat.
There is one thing I'd admit I look forward to: the fall holidays. Halloween just might be my favorite holiday ever. And Thanksgiving? Don't get me started on those casseroles and pies. I'm no monster. There are a few fall dishes we all look forward to eating every year.
Holly Van Hare is the Healthy Eating Editor at The Daily Meal. Her interests include petting other people's dogs, wellness, and reading good books. You can listen to her podcast Nut Butter Radio and follow her Instagram for more!